i honestly hate myslef. i cant seem to get on track at all. i am at an all time low on my self esteem. i cant even look at myself in the mirror and i cant do anythign about it. i literally cant escape food. its all i think about, and what im going to do to motivate myself to eat less and workout more and get on a diet. i juts like cant. and i am back at my higher weight after not doing shit all summer and now i feel horrible about myself. i just googled “how do you make yourself throw up”. that is just sad. tomorrow is monday and i need to start becoming happy with myself. this is so bad, i honestly hate the person i am. i am fat and discussing, i dont even wanna think about it. ugh okay bye world.